The Lord amazes me.
After praying very hard for certain miracles and not getting them soon, I gave up. I got angry with God. After a few days, some small results started to show and I was sure the Lord took my prayers into consideration. I thought that I never should have doubted Him. I didn’t think miracles can take time, but that’s my fault-not God’s.
Yesterday, I was blessed with productivity. Indirectly, it was one of the things I prayed for, and I accomplished a lot. I worked around the house almost all day, with only short breaks. I pushed myself to keep going. Idle hands are the devil’s playthings, and I think God gifted me with productivity so I could respond better to Him.
As I was walking to the recycle bin, I prayed something along the lines of, “Let me have faith. Let me never doubt you, Lord.”
He’s helping me in his own way.
Last night, I was saying a specific prayer that I was seeing in a new light. It talked about the gift of faith and charity and joy.
Charity was another thing I indirectly prayed for…
So was joy…
I was re-taught the following things yesterday:
God works in mysterious ways. He will not reject anyone who reaches out to Him.
His timing is appropriate, whether we like it or trust that it is, or not.
He will help us, it just might not be in the way we expect.
A few days ago, I was in a rather bad place. My mind was overcome with worry, anger, and fear so I stayed in bed all day and watched Netflix. It even got to the point where I gave up saying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy part way through because I wasn’t feeling it. This was so incredibly selfish of me. I am still angry at myself for that, but I keep running back to God.
After that, things started to look up again. I prayed, not really too hard, just honestly. My prayers were short, but God met me half way.
He always will. If we cry out to Him, no matter how small out cry, He will meet us. He will outstretch His arms for us, just like He has always done with me, just like He did these past few days.
He gets up past the sin. He carries us through thick and thin-as long as we let Him. If we don’t, we’ll sink and sink and sink until we’ll have very little choice but to turn back to Him, or stay sunken.
What will you choose?
If you mess up your choice, as long as you’re physically or mentally still alive, you can choose again and again the love of Christ.
There is such beauty in God’s promises. There’s such joy in following God’s Word that is far greater and fuller than any happiness we could attain. You can be happy with God, but there’s a difference between joy and happiness. I believe the difference is this: when you’re happy, your spirit is smiling. When you’re joyful, your soul is smiling and feeling content. There were lots of times during my episodes of depression when I felt joyful, but not happy.
I can say that it makes me joyful to pray for people. It makes me joyful to know I can pray for them. I know my prayers aren’t in vain. I know God hears them and hears your prayers, too. He does have reasons for not always giving us something we pray for, but since it’s God, we can trust for the best from Him. We can pray differently and diligently, and most of all, we can have faith. God calls us to have charity, to pray for others, but He calls us to have faith more. Sometimes, it’s hard to have faith, so sometimes my prayers feel a little empty. So I struggle in that moment to align my intentions with God’s, but it doesn’t always work. I then pray that God grant my request anyway, because He loves His people and other people shouldn’t have to suffer because of my flaws. I ask Him for help. This is a way to have faith.
Thanking Him for helping you is a way to find faith, and growing in faith is a way to experience joy.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–” Ephesians 2:8
“16 <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29621A" data-link="(A)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>Rejoice always, 17 <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29622B" data-link="(B)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>pray without ceasing, 18 <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29623C" data-link="(C)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
This should be a short passage, as I have very little time to type.
I can say that I am struggling, struggling to feel loved, to not want to cry, to not feel threatened by situations my anxiety concocts. I have mental given it to God, but emotionally I can do nothing but cry out for help. I can want to know God more. I want to feel Him with His arms wrapped around me.
I need God to be a part of my emotions. I’m a very emotional person and can’t let that get in the way of my relationship with God, anymore so than it actual does.
God, please come into these bad feelings and beliefs and do as you will. I need You.
Today, I was thinking about what it’s like to miss something, whether it be a feeling or event or memory or whatever. Is it ok to miss something? (Not someone, that’s different)
I concluded that I feel like it’s ok to miss something, but God did put us in the present moment for a reason. We are called to live our lives as Christians, not to avoid living our lives by constant fantasizing and reminiscing.
However, in that conclusion, the word “constant” plays a big part, so it leaves the question of, “What about if it’s not constant?” and to that, I say that answer is, “Yes, it is ok to miss things, provided we thank God for giving us something that makes saying goodbye to so hard.” [A/N: High-five to those of you who caught that!]
So I guess my conclusion wasn’t all that complete, but however God feels on the matter most definitely is. ❤
So I was thinking about making my own worship space in my room. I’d probably cover the surface of it in the fabric I was going to use for my wedding dress. I’ve always wanted a space like that.
Teach me how to be pure and holy. Help me to be as deserving of this person’s love as I can be. Soften my heart, grant me Grace to do your Holy Will and let nothing stop me. Take control of me; let every thought, every touch, every embrace be guided by Your Holy Spirit so that the utmost love may be expressed and felt through and in both parties. Help me to be more like You. Help me to be humble, to be loved, to be pure, to be understanding and free from judgements. Help me to know what not to do before it’s too late. Help me to heal. Help me to be more like You, Lord God. Help us be more like You.
Most importantly, make us into You. Take over our existences so that we may imitate You to the fullest extent possible. It would be the highest honor we could experience here on Earth.
Thank You, Lord, for bringing someone so beautiful into my life.