Being “Holy” feels rather foreign to me. God says that we engage in Holiness when we are enveloped in prayer. I pray often, but I also sin quite frequently. I am burdened with them, and believe I’m very unsure of how I could possibly live a Godly life. I will never be a saint, which is fine (seeing as how I’m not exactly Catholic anyway), but I would still love to be known for my love of Christ. I can let God guide my words. I can pray and repent and pray and repent, but sin still continues to fill certain voids (or create them) and it makes me feel like I will never love my Lord enough. Maybe I won’t until I get to heaven…but if I could maximize my love for Him here on Earth, that would be great and a true honor. His Grace is sufficient for me. I don’t always feel like it when I am in the midst of a sin, but it truly is. I know this because He has said it, and also because my experiences have told me so. I have sinned greatly, and been blessed greatly as well. Redemption is something I can never pay Jesus back for, but it is still something I welcome regularly, and how can I not? Any bit of peace or love or grace or understanding I receive from the Lord will guide me through the despairing paths of sin and into His waiting, open arms.
So, even though I struggle again and again and again each day, even though I may never attain a level of Holiness in my life that I long for, He makes it all worth it.
Thank you, my Lord and Savior, for your Grace, Forgiveness, Hope, Love, and Redemption.